Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students. ~John Ciardi
Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates. ~Abbott Lawrence Lowell
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. ~Theodore Roosevelt
If you have a college degree you can be absolutely sure of one thing... you have a college degree. ~Author Unknown
If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you. ~Robert Goheen, Time, 23 June 1961
It takes most men five years to recover from a college education, and to learn that poetry is as vital to thinking as knowledge. ~Brooks Atkinson, Once Around the Sun, 1951
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep. ~W.H. Auden
The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving. ~Russell Green
A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. ~"Fats" Domino
Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or they didn't. ~L.L. Hendren
College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night? ~David Wood
A liberal education... frees a man from the prison-house of his class, race, time, place, background, family and even his nation. ~Robert Maynard Hutchins
Does college pay? They do if you are a good open-field runner. ~Will Rogers
A college education shows a man how little other people know. ~Thomas Chandler Haliburton
The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another. ~J. Frank Dobie
I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's. ~Alex Karras
The primary purpose of a liberal education is to make one's mind a pleasant place in which to spend one's leisure. ~Sydney J. Harris
College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture. ~Elbert Hubbard
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. ~George Gobel
A liberal-arts education is supposed to provide you with a value system, a standard, a set of ideas, not a job. ~Caroline Bird
I learned three important things in college - to use a library, to memorize quickly and visually, to drop asleep at any time given a horizontal surface and fifteen minutes. ~Agnes DeMille, Dance to the Piper, 1952
The new appears as a minority point of view, and hence is unpopular. The function of a university is to give it a sanctuary. ~Martin H. Fischer
I have a degree in liberal arts. Do you want fries with that? ~Author unknown, as seen on a T-shirt
Hitler destroyed the German university with design; we destroyed ours without. ~Martin H. Fischer
No man should escape our universities without knowing how little he knows. ~J. Robert Oppenheimer
The purpose of primary education is the development of your weak characteristics; the purpose of university education, the development of your strong. ~Nevin Fenneman
I am not impressed by the Ivy League establishments. Of course they graduate the best - it's all they'll take, leaving to others the problem of educating the country. They will give you an education the way the banks will give you money - provided you can prove to their satisfaction that you don't need it. ~Peter DeVries
Standardization is the fertilizer of college education. A little may be useful, but flowers do not grow in pure manure. ~Martin H. Fischer
The purpose of a liberal education is to make you philosophical enough to accept the fact that you will never make much money. ~Author Unknown
The quality of a university is measured more by the kind of student it turns out than the kind it takes in. ~Robert J. Kibbee
A place where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed. ~Robert G. Ingersoll
A university is a college with a stadium seating over 40,000. ~Leonard L. Levinson College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night? ~David Wood
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates. ~Abbott Lawrence Lowell
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep. ~W.H. Auden
I learned three important things in college - to use a library, to memorize quickly and visually, to drop asleep at any time given a horizontal surface and fifteen minutes. ~Agnes DeMille, Dance to the Piper, 1952
There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes. ~Art Buchwald
If at first you don't succeed, do it like your mother told you. ~Author Unknown
Where we love is home, Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., Homesick in Heaven
The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. ~Aristotle
How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it's June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon? ~Dr. Seuss
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. ~Theodore Roosevelt
A college education shows a man how little other people know. ~Thomas Chandler Haliburton
College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. ~George Gobel
The purpose of primary education is the development of your weak characteristics; the purpose of university education, the development of your strong. ~Nevin Fenneman
A university is a college with a stadium seating over 40,000. ~Leonard L. Levinson
If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you. ~Robert Goheen, Time, 23 June 1961
It takes most men five years to recover from a college education, and to learn that poetry is as vital to thinking as knowledge. ~Brooks Atkinson, Once Around the Sun, 1951
An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. ~Benjamin Franklin
Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book
Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable. ~Wendy Wasserstein
Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude. ~Ralph Marston
Hitch your wagon to a star. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. ~Author Unknown
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go. ~Dr. Seuss
Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. ~David Frost
Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself. ~John Dewey
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
The important thing is not to stop questioning. ~Albert Einstein
The best helping hand that you will ever receive is the one at the end of your own arm. ~Fred Dehner
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. ~Henry Ford
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. ~Les Brown
You learn something every day if you pay attention. ~Ray LeBlond
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. ~Milton Berle
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught. ~Oscar Wilde, "The Critic as Artist," 1890
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. ~Chinese Proverb
A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. ~Francis Bacon, Essays, 1625
What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God. ~Eleanor Powell
I hope that my achievements in life shall be these - that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, and that I will have given help to those who were in need that I will have left the earth a better place for what I've done and who I've been. ~C. Hoppe
Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value. ~Albert Einstein
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~Theodore Roosevelt
Learn as much as you can while you are young, since life becomes too busy later. ~Dana Stewart Scott
The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher. ~Thomas Henry Huxley, Life and Letters of Thomas Huxley
When solving problems, dig at the roots instead of just hacking at the leaves. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right. ~Henry Ford
Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level. ~Max L. Forman
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ~Thomas Edison
Don't find fault. Find a remedy. ~Henry Ford
There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream. ~Author Unknown
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